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Saturday, July 1, 2017

Multi-Tasking!



I am told by women that only they have the skill to do more than one thing at a time because it is they who have the mental lobe that makes that possible Whether they are at the office or especially at home with children demanding her attention while she takes care of a dozen things, somehow she copes. For we men we just tell the children that daddy's busy. We men must choose the one thing we need to do and concentrate on doing that well. That is so sad and if true it allows the ladies to beat us all the time.

I am reminded of the old adage that says, "Don't throw the baby out with the bath water." I think that is said because at least one time someone threw the baby out with the bath water. Perhaps they were multi-tasking, or trying to do more than one thing at a time when that happened.

That sounds like something a man might have done, perhaps even myself as I was involved in the upbringing of my son. If I were trying to emulate my wife I could have got that all wrong and made a mess of things. I would have had to find baby and coo over him apologising that papa was just trying to do too many things at once.

He would have thought "papa, does that mean we are related? Somebody please help me!

They didn't say who did the throwing, but I'm just saying.

It was definitely a woman who was driving her car along the avenue as the police cruiser drew alongside her and the policeman urged her to slow down; slower, slower still, slower and gently pull over to the side and come to a smooth stop.

Was I speeding officer?

No Ma'am, you were driving within the limit. In fact you are a good driver and you take instruction really well. We would give you a certificate of commendation were it not for the fact that your baby is riding in the convertible on the top of your car.

(She screams out loud!!!) Oh baby, baby, baby, Mommy's sorry it's just that I was so busy packing the car and talking to your aunt Sue and texting I forgot. I know that sounds incredible but I just did. Please forgive Mommy.

Baby thinks, mommy, does that mean we related? Somebody help me!

Multitasking yes, but needs some work!

I was thinking that it must be possible to train myself to do more than one thing efficiently at the same time. How difficult could that be? If I could succeed at that it would redeem the pride of men all over the world.

I was thinking about it while looking out at the scenery when I suddenly realised that I was doing two things at once, plus I was breathing and listening, that made four things, and I was chewing gum, five things in all. I was not hopeless after all.

I tried patting my head and rubbing my stomach in a circle which made me laugh and that brought the number of things to eight, surely I could get to ten. I began to tap one foot and because I was talking about it that did take me to ten things at the same time. Ten things all at the same time is not bad for a man who supposedly doesn't have the mental lobe.

Call it one small step for men if you will, but we have parity and our pride is intact.

The next time a lady says "I can multitask and you can't" tell her to get a life!

Copyright (c) 2017
Eugene Carmichael