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Sunday, August 24, 2014

Never judge a book by its Cover

This is a book I would buy.

We men are so predictable. We understand what the advice is telling us, but when it comes to women we all respond to the visual. A beautiful woman attracts our attention and we immediately think that we would like to spend time with her.

Agreed, the definition of beautiful is different for each man. It need not be the woman with the big hair and perfect make-up, or the big boobs. But whatever your personal idea of beautiful is, its a visual thing and you are drawn to that person, and you make instant decisions about such a person.

Women tell me that they are drawn to a man by other attractions, especially his intelligence and his percieved wealth. They make the same mistakes we do, if that is the case.

The way we are wired is that we respond to the visual, even after we have found the perfect woman for us. That is a curse which is frustrating for us. We know that our woman will be annoyed if we are constantly turning our heads when another beautiful woman passes by. We certainly wouldn't like it were she to do the same thing when a handsome guy was in the zone. In our natural state, if left to our own devices, we would chase every attractive skirt to bed her, and then to move on to the next one. When compared to the animal kingdom, we are the lions. A life of all-day sex, a meal and a drink would suit most men.

However, we live in a civilized society where the church says we should not behave that way. More and better is expected of us, so we have to comply. We need to control our natural instincts and to act like decent human beings.

So, that brings us to the point: how do we make a decision about choosing a life partner? It cannot be based simply on how she looks. If anything, the more perfect she appears in public the farther away from her we should go. If you have to have a trophy wife to be by your side so that you look good, so be it. But, expect a whole catalogue of problems to go along with that.

The commonsense approach is that you have to get to know her over a prolonged period. She has to get to know you in your natural state. That is to say that after you have both finished trying to impress one another, get to know the real person before starting off on a journey for life. She has to know whether you think you should be able to knock her around or stay out all hours, and you need to know just how demanding she is.

If you were trying to make a decision about anything else, you would consider it important to do your due diligence. This is no different for both of you.

Copyright (c) 2014  Eugene Carmichael