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|Apparently, I'm the luckiest man on Earth!|
I was complaining to my wife that oce again I did not win anything substantial through the Spanish Christmas lottery, El Gordo. I said that were it not for bad luck I wouldn't have any luck at all. She replied that on the contrary, she felt I was perhaps the luckiest person she knows.
To begin with, when I was born I was given a maximum age expectancy by the actuary to age 47. Now, I am age 74. Perhaps they made a mistake and simply reversed the digits. (Oh shit!)
Secondly, a massive fire swept over our house without even touching the walls of the house. Lucky!
My children, and even my grandchildren have grown up to be model citizens. (Super good luck!)
Then she gave me a long list of why I am lucky just in being a man. Consider this:
I never have to fear getting pregnant.
I can wear a white T-shirt to a water park, or no shirt at all.
When guys talk to me they look me in the eyes, not at my chest
I have three pairs of shoes. that's two too many.
On vacation, the shoes I need are on my feet.
When I want to pee the whole world is my urinal.
Same work, more pay. (But, that sucks.)
I can open all my jars myself
The garage is all mine
My underwear costs $9 for a pack of three
I do my nails with my Swiss Army knife
I decide to grow a mustache, or not.
My wife does my hair, once every two years.
One mood, all the time. No need to get cranky, unless my not so little man stops working.
When we put it like that, I guess I am a very lucky man indeed. I'm also very grateful to have won the lottery of life!
Copyright (c) 2014 Eugene Carmichael