List of Previous Titles

Sunday, March 3, 2013

Oscar Pistorius Jokes

A great athlete, But!
I do respect his ability on the track. 

Firstly, I have to tell you that from the very first time I ever heard of this man I was awed by his sense of determination and his ability to overcome his staggering disability. Like most people I was captivated, and I gave him my total respect.

However, a very beautiful young woman lies dead in her native South Africa, admittedly at his hand, although he insists that it was an accident. Well, he is strictly innocent until proved guilty, but his explanation has been met by ridicule in the court of public opinion and the Internet is alive with Oscar jokes, some of which are absolutely tasteless. So, I thought I would add my own which I hope you will find a bit more conservative.

Oscar says that although he knew his girlfriend was in the house he thought that the person in the bathroom was an intruder, so apparently without calling out to her or finding out whether the "intruder" was armed or simply taking a shit, he fired four bullets through the door. (Well, that's all right then, innit?)

As a result people around the world who are in the bathroom answer when their partner asks, are you in there, "Yes, its me. Don't shoot! Don't shoot!"

Why didn't it occur to Oscar to simply call out, Honey, are you in the bathroom? That's what I would do!

All men get frustrated by the amount of time our women spend in the bathroom, but Oscar, Bru, we don't shoot 'em.

Hi girls, Oscar's here and he's looking for a new girlfriend. Run!

Man, when Oscar wants in the bathroom, Move it!

Most people simply knock on the door before entering the bathroom.

How difficult will it be for Oscar to find a new girlfriend? He's a good looking guy, rich, successful and a very famous athlete. There is a long line of women, but they are running the other way.

In Oscar's next relationship he will probably be the girlfriend, and his boyfriend will be a big, sweaty cellmate.

Oscar will not have to take a course in how to properly treat his next girlfriend. There will not be a next girlfriend, unless she's a sadist with a whip and a gun.

Oscar, there are 50 ways to leave your lover.
Oscar: Make that 51.

The judge won't let Oscar go back to his house because there is only one bathroom. Somebody else might  get hurt.

 So, there you have them, my one dozen original Oscar jokes that I'm sure are going to turn up under other people's names. I hope you get a smile and I just have to remember to keep my sense of humour.

Copyright (c) 2013   Eugene Carmichael