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Sunday, April 1, 2012

Winning the argument with a Woman

Rodan's Thinker.
Take his lead and think about it.

Does anyone have any proof that a man has definitively ever won an argument with a womann, going back to the dawn of time?

I have read much advice on the topic of how a man should "handle" arguments with his woman, and I'm happy to accept that the advice is well intentioned, but there is only one bit of advice that I take, and it is my own counsel, and that is don't argue with her. It seems to be part of a female's DNA that to lose an argument with a man is not an option. I'm talking about a full blown, screaming, shouting argument. That is not the same thing as a civilized debate where rules are in place, and courtesies are extended that result simply in the exchange of thoughts and ideas.

An argument, by its very nature is an emotional confrontation, which is bad enough, and dangerous between two men,  whose forte generally is not emotion. But women, bless 'em, whose strong point is the ability to feel things in their soul, excel at the art of the argument. The other thing that women have going for them are their memories, that make an elephant scratch their heads and admit even they can't remember back that far.

I have had my fair share of arguments with women. You get sucked in so easily and quickly, and the escalation takes place so fast that before you know it, you are hopelessly lost at sea. Things get said in the heat of the moment that are hurtful and spiteful, and very damaging to the relationship. When either of you try to apologize for what you said in the quiet times that follow, your mate is left wondering if you didn't mean it, why did you say it?

Even the man can't end the screaming match. You can try, but it will not be over until she completely runs out of steam, or until he knocks her out. I am not suggesting that he do this, but all too often it does move to violence, which is another reason why you should avoid getting into this situation in the first place.

The reason why arguing with a woman is unwinnable is that the man is using rationale against her strongly held emotions and that is a no-brainer. You cannot win as a man, so don't even go there. When he is actually making ground she simply changes the subject. If he introduces a thought, she can recall something he said or did with absolute clarity that happened so many years ago that contradicts, and he doesn't know if he did the offending thing or not.

The other question is: Men, would you actually want to win the argument?

Its never happened so we don't really know what it would look like, but imagine if you did win. You put her firmly in her place and you walked away the declared winner, leaving her the way she leaves you. She will probably never speak to you again, until you apologize convincingly for her embarrassment, and her hurt feelings. I think you can also damn well forget about that sex thing for probably a year, or until you buy her some really nice jewellery. (Sorry ladies if I seem to be trivializing.) We just don't know what we would do.

I am an older gentleman who has learned a lot through pain and suffering, so listen up you young guys: Get to recognize the signs of when she is on the warpath. Every time she tries to start an argument keep your big mouth shut, because any word that comes from your open mouth she will use as the fire starter. When she starts in without your help, stay calm and let her argue with herself. She will easily get frustrated and take out her feelings on the dog, but as long as you don't let yourself get drawn into something no man has ever won, you win. Remember, she can always deliver the coup de grace to your winning argument by saying : Whatever !!!!

I'll repeat that: the only way to win an argument with a woman is not to get into the argument in the first place!

Copyright (c) 2012   Eugene Carmichael