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Sunday, August 28, 2011

Diana , Queen of Hearts Forever!





















A Time of Rememberance!

The marriage of Prince William to Kate Middleton earlier this year was for many people another opportunity to cherish the memory of his mother, Lady Di. on August 31, 2011 in the commemoration of the 14th anniversary of her premature death. That event unleashed such a torrent of speculation of every description that it stands out as a unique happening in the annals of history.

I hereby commemorate the anniversary with my own look at history, filling in the gaps with my own respectful guesswork.

I believe that Diana’s life was sculpted for her to become what she was, wife to a prince, and mother to a future king or queen. I think, that as a young girl she might have had an idealistic and romantic view of that role, and it would not have been out of place for her to have seen herself as a person deserving of prestige and respect for her opinion.

Certainly the beginning was letter perfect, but when she found to her horror that her role as wife to a royal was in fact a job, as baby maker, and that her opinion was not sought or particularly appreciated, she must have been very hurt indeed. When she later discovered that there were three people in her marriage she must have become a woman scorned; and as the well-known adage goes, “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.!”

Her idealistic image of life as an important member of The Royal Family presumably soured, while she found herself surrounded by grey minders in their grey suits, telling her how to behave in her gilded cage.

Diana pushed back by having a man to call upon her in the middle of the night. After all, her husband was not there. That must surely have set The Palace all a twitter, but at least he was a WASP, the same as Diana.

She will have done that presumably because she was lonely, as well as a way of getting her own back, but it didn’t make much of a public stir. She allegedly then decidedly focused on an Indian doctor, who in his wisdom reportedly told her to piss off as she was too high a maintenance and too much trouble; and that leads us to Dodi Fayed, a Muslim.

If, as a scorned woman, she wanted to get under the skin of her former husband and his family, she could not have chosen a more effective way to achieve that result. Firstly, Dodi’s father was in tense relations with the Palace over his efforts to become a British citizen, and secondly the family are mega-rich. So she could be maintained in the comforts to which she had become accustomed.

However, looking back with 20-20 vision it can be seen that it was an impossible situation, one that was completely untenable. Diana, mistress of the hunt, was the most hunted woman ever by photographers, to the extent that she could never leave the protection of her four walls without people with cameras recording her every move. It is impossible to live like that for anybody. I saw a news clip of Diana who was chased by photographers, who ran her down and trapped her against a wall where she remained frozen in the lights like a fox or rabbit. I was outraged and the thought crossed my mind at that time that those bastards would not be happy until they caused her death.

I believe that the Fayed family never realised what they had in Diana until it was too late. Had she married Dodi, a link would have been established between The Church of England and Islam, one that would have become perhaps more troublesome when William succeeds to the throne. Was that acceptable, either to Islam or Anglican England? There arose many assassination theories, and I can see where the sense of conspiracy would have gained ground, although I don’t agree with any of them.

Here was the most sought after woman in the world by photographers, in the act of doing something that was immensely controversial, that made her all the more newsworthy. The need to protect her security had increased by a quantum leap, but no-one seemed to have realised that.

I believe that all that happened was that a simple, and completely avoidable car crash, brought on by a certifiably drunk driver, speeding and being chased by a pack of wolves, ended the life and future of one of the most beautiful women in the world. I also believe that her security should have consisted of a small platoon of agents, and her movements carefully worked out in advance because she required protection not only from photographers, but also from criminal minds.

At least when she was the good wife of Prince Charles she had the full protection of Scotland Yard, and provided that she followed protocol she would likely still be alive today. A person doesn’t have to be a staunch monarchist to feel the loss of Diana, or to even feel her outrage at finding herself in such a situation that she was faced with. You only have to see life from the viewpoint of a naive young woman who only wanted to be loved, and to give love.

Diana Spencer, in spite of her elevated status, was as solid a human being as you could find anywhere, because she really did care for the poor, the oppressed, suffering children, people struggling with AIDS, and from the dread of landmines. She deserved a longer life, and a happier life. Perhaps she might have found those things had she married Joe, the plumber. She certainly had my respect and admiration, but now she is dead, Long Live Lady Diana, the people’s Princess, and Queen of Hearts, Forever.

William has the chance to treat Kate in the manner his mother would have liked to have been treated.

I hope he will, and I wish them well!!!


Copyright © 2011 Eugene Carmichael

Sunday, August 21, 2011

A 20 Piano Concert














Lang Lang-Coming!



A 20 Piano Concert - A 200 per cent experience

Clemente Pianos of Spain celebrated their 20th Anniversary on the evening of July the 2nd by giving a concert using twenty pianos. The last time we saw such a performance was during an event in Hollywood that used nineteen pianos to present The Hungarian Rhapsody, many years ago.

Clemente Pianos presented their concert at the Palau de la Musica in Valencia, in collaboration with the music academy, Musikeon, who provided 35 of their students, and ex-students, some of whom had to travel to Spain from all around the world.

To describe the event as being superb, and outstanding is to tragically use understatements. There were some aspects that were trying on one’s patience, such as the fact that the concert started at 7:30 pm, but we only got to hear the first note of music at 8:05, due to so much lead-in discussion. Considering that the standing-room only audience were so thrilled by the concept, and very anxious to hear the music, we were very impatient. As the radio dj¡s are fond of saying, “More music, less talk” was what we wanted.

The programme consisted of three pieces: First, there was “In C,” by Terry Riley, that really disappointed me, because it did nothing to bring out the power of the pianos, and just seemed to ramble along without any direction whatsoever. As a work it also left me completely cold, and I thought, it made a very poor choice as the first work to be performed. However, as the program progressed I came to the conclusion that they were just toying with us.

The second work was by Ludwig Van Beethoven, called Wellington’s Siege (1813). The announcer described this work as one that is so seldom heard that it is as though the music world wished that he had never written it. However, in my own opinion this is a wonderful piece that describes the war between Napolean and England, in which pieces that are very familiar describes the momentum as the battle progresses. In case you are wondering, England won.

The third piece was specifically written for the twenty pianos on hand by one of the alumni who was there to take the lead. It was a curious piece that was written about the life of an insect that is born to procreate once, and then it dies. It worked exceptionally well between the entire twenty pianos. The piece was called “Efimeras,” by David Ortolá.

There followed several minutes of applause, during which a number of people left. Then came the (programmed) encore, Ravel’s “Bolero.” For me, and apparently most of the audience, it was the best piece of the evening, and was what we came for, all twenty pianos playing in harmony with all thirty-five pianists at the keyboards. Even as I write this I have goose bumps.

As I stated at the beginning, this was in celebration of the 20th anniversary of a company’s business. The fact that the company went to such extraordinary lengths and expense to stage such an event that will stand out in the annals of show business is wonderful. The fact that it was also a concert given to the public completely without charge; that’s right, absolutely gratis, was a fabulous gift to the people of Valencia.

Thank you Clemente Pianos, and thank you Musikeon.

Coming to Palua de la Musica, Valencia, April 19th, 2012: Lang Lang! In my eyes he is simply the most fabulous pianist in the world. I can’t wait!

Copyright © 2011 Eugene Carmichael

Sunday, August 14, 2011

The Pain of Sexual Harassment



The Pain of Sexual Harassment in the modern Office

I have just read a book by Michael Crichton called “Disclosure” which was released in 1994, and I saw the movie of the same name that was made in 1995, starring Michael Douglas and Demi Moore. The theme is one that deals with a boss who used power to demand sexual favours from the employee. What made this such a staggering hit at the time was that the boss was a woman. In America, at that time, people were in denial that a woman could actually enjoy sex , and to the extent that she would demand it.

This is 2011, and as we now know, women enjoy sex as much as men and they do not regard themselves as simple sex objects for men’s pleasure. It has to be good for them too. Well, Good!

What exactly is sexual harassment?

Harassment is any practise that is known to deliberately generate annoyance in a person. If the harassment is of a sexual nature, either in spoken form, or especially in the form of touching and demanding or pleading, then it becomes an act that is possibly criminal.

The person who considers that they are being harassed has to let the other person know that their actions are unwelcome, and they have to demand that the action cease.

Who can be guilty of harassment?

Fundamentally, anyone can create such a nuisance of themselves in this regard, including persons of equal footing who have frequent contact. However, when one person has power over another and they use that power to demand sexual services it becomes very serious indeed. In fact, that is not so much an act of sex as it is of power.

There was a time when men ruled the world and they did exactly as they pleased. It was commonplace for bosses to have sexual affairs with their secretaries. Now it emerges that perhaps most of those relations were not mutually consenting, but in fact were coerced by the boss. The girls kept mum and simply went along to hold on to their jobs. Now, women have moved on up and many have revenge in mind. Perhaps they themselves have got to their present position by playing the game and they see that it is time to get their own back.

Just as in the bad old days not much was heard about the practise, and I believe that these days men who are used by their female bosses to give service are even more tight lipped. To begin with they have a career with pussy and a paycheck. On the face of things this would not seem like something to complain about, especially if promotions come along with performance. However, as always the devil is in the detail

Imagine yourself as only one of the bosses’ favourites, and you are not able to make any kind of private life for yourself, such as with wife and family. When the boss calls you have to be available and ready to perform, even if the boss is as ugly as sin, and stinks. Of course, other employees will talk and you will be the butt of jokes. You have to be prepared to work in an environment that is poisoned with the scandal of you being the boss’s toyboy. This seems like a situation in which your job would eventually become untenable.

As some wise person said a very long time ago, that if a man marries a woman for her wealth, for every penny he takes off her, he will pay ten times as much in one way or the other. Is that true of a woman who marries a rich man?

Sexual harassment is not a nice thing, and it has never, ever been so. My conscience is clear in that I have never been such a nuisance to any woman. Although I have been an administrator I never inflicted such discomfort upon a woman. At the time that the film (Disclosure) was released it brought the subject out into the open and changed behaviours throughout society. In that regard it was one of the most important films of our times. I supervised a couple of women and I found myself very self-conscious of my behaviour.

Throughout our office the jokes and banter stopped, as we eyed one another suspiciously. All it would take is an accusation of sexual harassment and a man’s career would be ruined. It was an awful time, although I believe that now things have moved back toward the centre, but it is the women who have led the way. However, it is very much an environment in which the lowest common denominator rules. If one women objects, all must play by her rules.

The workplace is where people go because they have to be there. It should not be like prison camp, nor should anyone have to suffer indignities.


Let common sense and decency rule!

Copyright © 2011 Eugene Carmichael

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Why is this Cat Laughing?





Who said cats don't have a sense of humour?

In many ways a cat is the ideal low-maintenance pet. This cat in our picture evidently has a great sense of humour when it sees something funny. Its owner has been told that he has to give pills to its mother. It is so amused because it has been watching the show. Here’s how to give a pill to a cat:

Pick up the cat and gently cradle it in your arms as you would a baby.
Position your right forefinger and thumb on either side of the cat’s mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding the pill in the other hand. As the cat opens its mouth insert the pill. Allow the cat to close its mouth and swallow. Simple!
Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.
Retrieve cat from bedroom and throw away soggy pill.
Take new pill, cradle cat in left arm and firmly hold rear paws in right hand. Get someone else to help. Force open jaws and push pill to back of mouth with forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from wardrobe. Employ additional manpower. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between your knees, holding both front and rear paws. Ignore low growls from cat and have helpers vigoursly get the damn pill down the friggin cat’s throat.
Apply iodine to scratches to your balls and retrieve cat from curtain rail.
Put pill in one end of a drinking straw, force mouth open of cat and blow hard on the straw. Check label on pillbox to make sure that pills are not harmful to humans, and have a beer to remove awful taste of pill. Apply band aids to spouses’ arms and remove bloodstains from carpet with cold soapy water.
Find cat and remove from neighbour’s shed. Get another pill, and another beer. Place cat’s head between door and doorjamb. Gently close door leaving cat’s head exposed. Open cat’s mouth with a dessertspoon and flick pill into cat’s mouth with an elastic band.
Get screwdriver from garage and put door back on its hinges. Drink beer and open bottle of scotch. Drink heartily. Apply cold compress to cheek and check date of last tetanus shot. Have another beer, throw away tee-shirt and get another from bedroom.
Call fire department to retrieve the damned cat from the electrical pole from across the street. Apologize to neighbour who crashed into hedge while avoiding the cat. Take the very last pill from packet.
Use your heavy-duty pruning gloves for roses and tape the bloody cat to the leg of the dining room table. Take a piece of cooked steak and shove that in mouth of cat with pill alongside it. Be quite rough about it. Pour two pints of water down throat of cat. Have wife take you to the Emergency Department and drink remainder of scotch on the way there. Sit quietly while doctors suture gashes to your fingers and arms. Stop on the way home to order new dining room table.
Have SPCA come to take away goddamned mutant cat.

In the event the vet says that failure to give cat pills will result in cat’s death, consult the very popular book, “How to arrange for a cat funeral.”

And that is why the above cat is having such a good laugh.
How to give your dog a pill: Wrap it in any kind of meat handy and flip it in the air. Case Closed!





Many thanks to whomever put this together for the internet.





Copyright © 2011 Eugene Carmichael