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Sunday, May 31, 2009

I'm Shrinking!






I’m perfectly aware that we all shrink as we grow older. As a man I expect to have problems with my shirt size as it is at present, and my suit size, not to mention my waist size. One man said that he has not had a problem with his waist size throughout his entire life. What he really meant was that he is still wearing a size 35 but it isn’t around his waist. The bigger he got the lower he wore his pants in the front.

What has got me to thinking about shrinking is my shoe size. I expect everything else to shift around and about, but I expect my shoe size to remain permanent. Well, it isn’t, dammit! I have bought shoes recently in size 42, which is small for a man anyway. Buying shoes in the Winter is deceptive because of those heavy socks. As a result size 42 fit me perfectly. However, Summer’s here and I have to put away the chunky socks and my shoes don’t fit me any more.

This is so depressing! I’m getting smaller as my voice has gone up an octave. What a pain in the butt this is. I feel I’m losing my virility on the one hand while on the other hand I feel charged up and capable of doing most reasonable things.

I thought I had better take a look at the facts on shrinking while aging. I wish I hadn’t started now because the facts are horrible. It seems we’re in growth mode until at the most around age 30, and that is where we top out. We may get to hold the line for a short time, but once the rot sets in its all downhill after that.

The Baltimore Longitudinal Study says that by age 70, most men are about 1.2 inches shorter than we were at age 20. For women it is even worse as they lose about two inches. The culprit is loss of bone density as we naturally lose calcium and other minerals. Women suffer more than men, hence women are often prescribed calcium supplements at menopause. Brittle bone syndrome attacks women more so than men as well, so hip fractures are something that women have to be more cautious of.

To add to the misery our facial bone structures are sucked in leaving our skin to sag. Many people have relied on the old Nip ‘n Tuck to see them through, but the process is relentless. Unfortunately, in a world where beauty accounts for so much the loss of her beauty is particularly cruel. However, there is one area where women score rather well.

Our brains stop growing just after we pass through our teenage years, but every parent will swear it happens immediately we enter those years, and we actually lose weight and volume of our brains at a rate of about 10 percent a decade, according to a U.S. study. Apparently most men’s brains undergo a dramatic change between ages 60 and 64 in shrinkage, however, women’s brains stay about the same.

Australian researchers tell us that size really doesn’t matter; that we retain all of our mental strength regardless. The loss of memory has more to do with chemical interactions. Well, that’s a relief! That still leaves us with the fact that we do shrink as we age and there’s no putting off the day for that to happen.

I’m still pissed about my shoe size. Man that’s confusing!

Copyright © 2009 Eugene Carmichael