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Sunday, December 27, 2009

That Christmas Thing!




The celebration of Christmas in the Christian world is a mandatory thing, or so it seems. It usually incorporates all of the family, whether near or far. If we are too far removed for actual visitations, then Christmas cards are the next best thing. Being a man I usually mail my cards on December 24th, but this year I had them all written and mailed by the middle of November. That was the one positive thing about being at home recuperating with a leg elevated. (I don’t recommend it!)

But Christmas is also the time of year when the suicide rate rises dramatically. Apparently people without families really feel the pressure of being lonesome. Ending it becomes an option worth considering.

I have lived through seventy Christmases and my experience has ranged from having been deeply religious and family driven to a lesser observation as the children have grown. There was a time when a freshly cut tree was essential for decoration, and presents were piled underneath for the daybreak discovery of what Santa Claus had brought me, and then much later for what I, acting as Santa had brought the children.

Now that has all changed with the passing into adulthood of the children who are all away and we are at liberty to greet Christmas with the minimum of exertion. Christmas has lost its magic, and what a shame. No special meal at home, (we went to a restaurant) no midnight church service, nothing particularly special about December 25th at all, except it was a sunny and beautiful day in between bad weather before and after.

However, I deny that we are turning into Mr. And Mrs Scrooge. We fully encourage young families to enjoy the occasion for the reason that it is intended. I particularly like the Spanish tradition of observing the 25th as a Holy Day, with gift giving left to the night of The Three Kings. In other countries gift giving has over taken the religious aspect, so much so that it makes something of a mockery of the whole event.

Looking back over the years there is actually one year that I can point to as my all-time favourite. That was the year when I was a child and my father played the role of Santa by going on the roof and stamping around and making animal noises. The next morning there was evidence that was left to be cleaned up. Us kids became super believers that year. We have never held it against our parents for being the first people in our lives to lie to us.

Season's Greetings everyone!

Copyright © 2009 Eugene Carmichael

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Season's Greetings!






Dear Readers,



My Christmas hope for you, your families and your friends is that you have peace, human warmth and Joy at this time of the year. To all of mankind, Christian, Muslim, Jewish and all other Faiths, I wish you all Happy Holidays!



Eugene Carmichael

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Women on the Corporate Ladder


Caution! Women Climbing the Corporate Ladder

Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr said that “None of us are free until we are all free!” Consequently it is with some joy that I see so many women moving ahead in the workplace. I take no amusement from those who think that certain things in life are solely women’s work, mainly to do with domestic matters. Men are perfectly capable of taking care of themselves and their children. There are no real reasons why women cannot break free from the old stereotype of doing everything in the kitchen. Men make excellent chefs.

I have had a growing uneasiness however, of whether a woman is completely free to soar with the eagles in her ambitions. We tell them that it is their right to be all that they can, and not to let anyone hold them back, but I think that perhaps we are not being all that realistic or fair. Being a woman is certainly not the same thing as being a man. A woman has to cope with a side of her that has its own demands. She has a biological clock that she must pay attention to, and when the children come along the natural instinct is to care for them.

This is not unfair. It cannot be said to be an unfair disadvantage because of what being a mother is. But, it does cause impediments in a commercial career that a man is free from.

As a man I have taken notice of the rise and rise of women in the workplace and in politics, and I have been pleased. Women certainly do at least as good a job as men, and I think most fair-minded people appreciate that it is a far better society when we are all participating.

In those societies where women are making the greatest advances we see problems associated within the period of transition. Some are very serious and involve violence. Others simply involve loneliness for the woman because she is unable to find a suitable man to keep pace with her.

As an example, a woman judge is a special case because judges are in a unique place. For her, a very progressive thinking man will be needed, preferably another judge. Failing that she might well be a very lonely person indeed.

Female doctors are another interesting study, although they are a part of a larger group and are more likely to have contact with other professionals of a like level. However, the pressures of the profession make it difficult to maintain a normal lifestyle and to include having children. It can be done but some part of their lives has to suffer.

The principal problems for a woman who is climbing the ladder to commercial success, other than those of the competition itself, tend to arise within her own personal life. Her male partner and her family can be the wind beneath her wings, or the anchor that holds her firmly on the ground. Consequently, we are seeing more young women staying free of personal relationships, and leaving it to the very last minute to have a baby at about age 36. Even then she may choose to have a sperm donation.

So, if we are agreed that active involvement of women in all parts of our society is vitally important, but that a woman faces hurdles that men are free from, the least that society as a whole can do is to offer empathy and support rather than to place even more barriers in their paths.

It is anyone’s guess how many such women were caught up in the financial crisis. Women who devoted their lives to moving ahead in the corporate world at the expense of a family, only to be tossed out into the sea of unemployed persons to sink or swim. That is so sad it hardly bears thinking about.

There are many successful women who remain at their posts, and who will survive this crisis. They work hard and play by the rules and are entitled to our respect and admiration. If they have a man who cannot accept that fundamental truth, then she has to make the hard decisions to cut him loose to find someone with whom he will be more comfortable.

The real acid test for a man is whether his wife earns as much money, or more than he does, or otherwise enjoys as much success. This is where the male ego gets in the way. It is something that generally men cannot control. We can struggle with it, but it really is more trouble to ourselves than to other people. Again, if this is a hurdle for her, she may have to make another decision that will be a test of her strength.

I try to have empathy for today’s professional woman, and I wish her all the best. Being a pioneer never was a comfortable thing. It all comes down to whether the rewards are worth the risks and hassles of reaching the destination.

Copyright © 2009 Eugene Carmichael

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Extra! Extra ! Read All About It!


Time for Privacy

The headline read: “Tiger Woods in Admission of Transgression Against Family!” In other words he was purportedly admitting to extra marital affairs.

America is a country where 16 million people have lost their jobs and cannot find more work. The economy is broken, banks have gone bankrupt, and continue to do so. America is fighting two wars that it desperately wants to disengage from, but cannot. The once mighty US Dollar is the poor man of the world. It is on its knees and is being stomped on by other currencies. The future holds possibly another war, with Iran and/or North Korea. America is steadily losing its position as global superpower and world leader.

America has more problems than it can possibly handle, and its people have more personal concerns for their survival today then they can digest. In this context the personal domestic problems of one small family over marital infidelity is simply not news. However, the US media will give more air time and column inches to the private problems of Tiger Woods and his family over the coming days and weeks and months than can be justified.

They will say that the people have a right to know. No! We the people don’t have any such right to know about things of this nature! It is simply no business of the people to know anything about the state of this family’s affairs. The media personalities who write and report on the problems of Tiger Woods, and other such celebrities don’t think the people need to know about their own business, nor should they. This is all about selling newspapers and ratings and pandering to our idle curiosity. Now we are hearing the incredibly stupid suggestion that Tiger Woods must go on The Oprah Show, and Larry King Live to confess all and beg for forgiveness from the nation. That is just about the sickest thing I have ever heard.

I know that other people have done such things. It was sick and stupid then, and it would be in this case.

Given the sheer number of women who would like to entertain this young man in their beds, it would be news if he were not having an affair. So, whether he is alleged to have acted inappropriately with one, or one hundred, my advice to the media is to leave these folks alone to work out their problems. It is an entirely private matter and it is the business of no-one else.

If the media really have to discuss something along these lines it can focus on the root causes that destroys so many marriages. The system is sick, and unfortunately no amount of discussion will make it well, however; when young women come forward claiming that “he promised me the world, and that he would leave his family, etc, etc” we need to boo them off the stage. In all too many cases the guy was a target of a designing woman, and that makes it very hard to stay focused.

Hands up those of you ladies who would like to entertain the president in your bedroom? See what I mean? He is a hard working-man who is keenly trying to do a good job, and you would desperately like to bring him down.

We men are so weak in the hands of women. We work hard and earn money, power and prestige, and we think that our package should contain more than we are permitted. There are some very firm borders that we must recognise, and to cross them is to be responsible for our own downfall. Perhaps there is also a line beyond which it doesn’t make sense to continue to drive ourselves so hard. When is enough, enough?

I wish Tiger Woods and his family all the best. Should his wife decide to leave him, my question is: For whom? I hope they do come to an agreement and he comes to his senses. After I close this I don’t want to hear another word about their private lives.

Copyright © 2009 Eugene Carmichael

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Rape most Foul !


Rape! Very Serious Business

A recent court case in my native Bermuda concerned a charge of rape that was thoroughly foul. A 22 year-old woman reported that about 8:45 pm one evening she stepped outside her apartment to get her mobile telephone from her car when she was suddenly set upon by two men from behind. They dragged her into her apartment where over 15 minutes they took turns violently raping her.

Her recall was excellent and she gave police a 19- page statement. Police were shocked that there were at large two men who could do such a thing, as though they were wild dogs. They considered this a most heinous crime, and seven officers were dedicated to the case, with support from The Serious Crimes Unit. They were concerned to try and arrest the two perpetrators before they struck again.

Dozens of young men were brought in and had to prove their whereabouts at the time of the crime. This is quite naturally a difficult thing to do. It is not a usual thing for people to keep a minute- by- minute diary of their everyday movements, with proof of where they were. There is also the possibility of unduly prying into one’s private affairs. A person’s activities may not have been illegal, but they may not have been morally correct either, and to have them exposed in this way might at the least be embarrassing.

The police worked strenuously for a full week and were convinced that they had found the two men. A police line-up was arranged and the woman was brought in to see if she could identify her attackers. And that’s when it all came unravelled. There had not been a rape. She had made the entire 19-page drama up, and in the process she has set back the criminal justice system by years.

Her circumstances were that she had a relationship with a young man, but her ex-boyfriend re-entered the picture and she had had rough sex with him. In the process he inflicted bruises and scars that she was unable to explain to her current lover, so she made up the story to cover her tracks.

She “knowingly and deliberately made a false report to police” that resulted in a waste of police man hours that diverted their attention from other serious business. The Court thought that she should pay for that, so they charged her $6,000 to reimburse the police, and they fined her $1,000 for her stupidity. She could also have been sent to prison for six months, which she may still have to do if the fines are not paid.

I’m living outside the country so perhaps the woman’s protection groups have spoken up and condemned her actions, but I cannot find any evidence of this. If they have not done so, then shame on them.

This story is important from a number of fronts, not the least being that when a woman cries rape, it should be only under the most serious and genuine of circumstances. To do otherwise only provides the defence in future cases reasonable doubt. Another reason for this is that I recall another such incident where a wife falsely cried rape, and that took up a lot of time and attention and put the community on edge. At that time I was one of the young men who was hassled to prove what I was doing at the time of the alleged incident, and I came very close to being put behind bars for something I had not done.


Interestingly, I gave a suggestion of what had probably really happened that turned out to be exactly the case. In that event the wife had an affair with a local lad during the Summer nights while her husband worked until 1am. Nearing the end of the tourist season the husband came home early and panicked the two lovers. He fled the house and she screamed rape. Meanwhile, I had attended a movie on my own and was on my way home. Her lover would have crossed my path, either just before me or directly after I had passed the area, thereby putting me squarely in the frame.

Had it not been for the fact that I had worked at that same hotel and knew the system, and therefore was able to surmise what had been happening the outcome might have been very different.

I do not support rape or rapists. In my mind they deserve the full prosecution of the law. Those who falsely claim they have been raped commit another form of the charge by belittling the system. They should at a minimum go to prison.

Copyright © 2009 Eugene Carmichael