List of Previous Titles

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Secrets!


“Information that is kept, or meant to be kept private (by one, or a few individuals)”.

Recently a friend brought the matter of secrets to my attention, and that got me to thinking about the whole subject of what are secrets, and how should they be treated. Why is it that news reporters try hard to get their hands on your secrets so as to report them on the front pages or the evening news? If secrets are not important, why does everybody perk up at the sound of the word?

Let me warn you that should you ever wish to research this subject you will find it’s like jelly. You place your thumb on a part and the rest swishes away. The one thing that we can start with are the types of secrets. Military, industrial, commercial, artistic, religious, sporting; and the type that I’m going to deal with are personal secrets. For me, this is the most troublesome.

At one time I was engaged in a public study of a very sensitive nature. I conducted my research on a person-to-person basis in confidence. On one occasion I met with a group. My job was to collate the information and develop a report to my superiors. To my horror, one of the women with whom I met told her mother about our meeting, and her mother challenged me, saying that due to our personal friendship I should have told her about it. I refused to confirm or deny that I had even met with her daughter.

Keeping secrets is a very difficult thing to do, and when a friend approaches you with the question “Can you keep a secret?” you really do need to consider what is being asked of you in its fullest degree. Taking on privileged information from a friend that you are not supposed to divulge to anyone, for that is what a secret is, can be a very worrisome thing. Once you have the information it is human nature to want to share it with someone. If you are not able to share it you will begin to feel the weight of it.

The probable reason why you were asked to accept the information is that the other person was feeling the need for relief and to pass it along. It had become too much to hold in. When you pass information like this, having said you wouldn’t, that goes straight to your integrity and your honour.

There are professional people who take on their client’s secrets, and some are charged with holding those secrets lawfully. How do they cope? How does the priest protect the secrets from the confessional, and his own sanity? The psychologist takes on nothing but privileged information every day. He, or she cannot simply get drunk to forget.

Who decides on the status of information as to whether it should be held in confidence or not? If your friend says that they are sharing confidential information with you, should it be treated as such, or can you challenge it as non-confidential? Are there certain kinds of information that are commonly considered to be secret by their very nature? I’m thinking that medical data about a patient would be such, as would be financial information.

I personally think that the type of information that flows from personal relationships also fall under that heading. The Way to Truth states that “ Hearts are created as safes for keeping secrets. Intelligence is their lock; will-power is their key. No one can break into the safe and steal its valuables if the lock and key are not faulty.”

Having said that, these days we are seeing people going on television to lay all their washing out for the public to see. Famous personalities wake up to the shock awareness that a book has been written about them by a former lover. Publicity hungry people, who do not have a real life, will jump at the chance to bare all to the public, and the worse their story is, the telling of it seems to be all the more important.

Men and women generally tend to think that we are better than all of the other animals on the earth, but the fact is that it is our integrity and honour that separates us from the animal kingdom. If we have neither we have nothing to promote ourselves above the so-called dumb creatures.

I will have to return to this subject next week, but for the time being I want to suggest two things: (a) If you are the person who wishes to pass a secret, ask yourself why do you need to do this before just pressing it on to your friend. (b) If you are the person being approached with a request to accept privileged information, ask why is it important for you to have it.

The bottom line is that should you keep things that are clearly private, and are meant to be kept that way, to yourself, you will earn your place among high society. Do otherwise and you earn a place in the mud.

Copyright © 2008 Eugene Carmichael

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Clearing Out!



What is there about having a good old fashioned clear-out of garbage from the garage that feels so good? The answer to that probably lies somewhere in the fact that we do it so rarely, and it requires a certain recklessness to accomplish.

When I pulled up stakes in Bermuda nine years ago to move to Spain I went through an experience that no one should be subject to. Firstly, you should know that I am a squirrel – I tuck things away. I normally throw away nothing much. If it’s save-able then it goes into the garage. Why? Because, it’s my life. I sometimes sit down and wonder what will I leave to tell the story of what I have been in this world. How will I be judged, and by what residue? I think these are important questions that deserve serious answers.

So, with that in mind, imagine how I must have felt to do a complete turnaround and go in and viciously throw out things that I put away for a day of need. Those days actually do arise, and when they do I feel so vindicated that I saved some idiotic thing that I could buy at any ordinary store. Never mind that it took up space, and collected dust for five years or more.

The experience in Bermuda was really quite shocking. After having weekend cash & carry sales from my house for several weekends, I started getting restless and began making runs to the garbage drop-off point. The guard there suggested that I should have garage sales as I was showing up with so much.

I developed a system in the end of not opening anything I had not looked into for at least five years. I simply tossed the box into the fires. It seems to have worked, as I have not moaned about the loss of anything significant in nine years. However, I have to tell you that it takes a lot of nerve, as heaven knows what was in those boxes.

The trick seems to be not to let things pile up like that. How do we not put things away in boxes that we won’t look at for the next five years? What is the system that can be employed to stop us from having to go through, (choose one), the angst or excitement of throwing things away?

It was such a dusty job of pulling out stuff and piling it into my old Fiat station wagon, and when that could carry no more, driving it all to the trash drop-off. If I had some other way of getting home I might have even left the car there, as it really is ready for the scrap yard.

I realize that we usually reserve these exercises for the Spring, but just because it’s Fall is no reason not to take action when the spirit moves us, so I did and got it done. Now, I feel good, my garage looks bigger and more lightsome, and my wife is worried.

Stay tuned for Clearing Out II, due to appear in 2013.

Copyright © 2008 Eugene Carmichael

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Love Lost





“T’is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.” (Alfred Lord Tennyson.)

This famous quotation just about says it all, but nevertheless, there will no doubt be a great number of people who would like to throw a rock at the author. When the passionate relationship comes to an end, and the tears come and the pain sets in, trying to be philosophical about things comes very hard.

Why is it that when you have something so good it has to end? Why are you not allowed to hold on to it to the end of time? In real life, all manner of things can interfere so that the perfect thing plays itself out to a natural end. And then you hit the wall and just lay there as a cripple.

Why do we do these things to ourselves? I don’t believe its because we actually like the feeling of pain. No, that can’t possibly be the answer. No one will actually want to be brought down hard and pinned to the ground all alone.

So, we turn to the Internet to see if there’s anyone else going through the same thing, and we find to our utter amazement that there’s a whole industry dedicated to breaking up. There’s Relationship Blues, and Adjustment and or Conformity; there are poems and other inspirational topics, and a whole lot more

Well now, you need not feel quite so alone when it seems as though the sky has fallen. Now you can join the crowd and get yourself on the road to recovery. I suggest that for a start you go to http://www.wikihow.com/ dealing with the subject of breaking up. It’s the best offering that I’ve found that provides a whole list of things you might be interested in.

They suggest that it will be helpful to consider what happened in detail. Accept your own pain so that you avoid making the same mistakes in the future. Remember, it’s never just one person’s fault. Life happens, and you’re a part of it.

Once you’ve made the decision you should most probably stick to it. Your reasons are probably well grounded and will re-occur in the future if you can’t find the strength now.

Keep a respectable distance to let your ex find his or her own feet. Breaking up is nasty business and a real major pressure regarding stress. Give yourselves a chance. Time will help you sort through things, even correcting any mistakes.

Is there hate involved? Could be, as it takes something significant to tear you apart. If there is, deal with it calmly, maturely, and with honesty. Time will also help you get over whatever is bothering you.

Friends, if you have any were made for times like these. Network like never before. Talk to them, do things with them, get busy. Let them help to take your mind off the pressure.
Lastly, don’t forget to pursue other happiness, and that includes moving along with your life. Need to forget someone? Take up with someone else and concentrate. However, don’t fall for the re-bound thing. If you fall into love with a next person, be sure that you are really feeling it and are not just covering up the pain.

Again, that Internet address is http://www.wikihow.com/ regarding breaking up. And one other thing: Good Luck!

Copyright © 2008 Eugene Carmichael

Sunday, September 7, 2008

When Winter met Summer

Lady
Chester


Summer








Winter



All dogs depicted are actors

A Shaggy Dog Story

This is a dog love story, just to prove to those of you who are sceptical that animals have the power of true love and caring.

Winter is our big Golden Retriever. He is about eight years old, a real shaggy dog, and overweight, just as I am. He is a Spanish animal who joined our family about seven years ago. When I first encountered him he had been brought into an apartment by his owner, and the first thing he did was piss on the floor. The apartment was located on the beach, so among a lot of screaming about that disgusting dog he was taken outside and onto the beach where he promptly shat in the sand.

My impression was that this was one of the world’s most objectionable animals, and if he were mine I would shoot him. Six months later he was introduced into our family to avoid him being taken to the dog pound. We had another dog that we brought with us from Bermuda. I chose him from the local SPCA as he was the most dangerous looking one there. I wasn’t looking for a pet. I was looking for a killer. My wife had arrived home at the same time that someone was in the process of breaking into our home. My previous dog, a cross between a German Shepherd and a Collie, who I named Lady, had passed away at the age of seventeen. I needed a sentry with a license to kill to replace her.

Chester was his name, and when he took one look at Winter he wanted to tear his face off. Finally, after a lot of encouragement from the top dog, that’s me, the two of them settled and became the best of friends. But Chester had a freedom jones, he just had to roam. Give him half a chance and he would be gone, taking Winter with him. They once went walk-about for seven weeks.

At age fourteen Chester went off to doggy heaven, leaving Winter on his own. Chester had dominated Winter to such an extent that he didn’t even know if it was alright to eat. He grieved for the loss of his friend and I had to pay him extra special attention through daily walks and grooming to help him through his depression.

Then one day this skinny bitch just showed up. She was wearing a collar so she was cultured but very skittish. She made her appearance at the same time that Summer began, so it was a natural that she would be named Summer to us. Winter still had all his equipment but he was very confused about what he was supposed to do with it. Chester had been fixed so Winter thought he was a girl dog and tried it on. It was funny to watch that action. Chester sure put him right in a hurry, and since then Winter just seemed to forget about his kit.

Summer is a small dog, very skinny and as homey looking as they come. But, she was full of life and obviously very taken with our big bear of a friend. They had silent conversations and lots of smooching as she was always in his face. She would go outside the open gate and encourage him to follow. Evidently it was while they were away that Winter got his mojo working because it was not too long before she started putting on weight.
Then came a time when she went missing for a couple of days during which she gave birth to her litter. She then showed up again, all bouncy, happy and skinny again. She was all over the big guy and he was quite apparently delighted to see her. Eventually she persuaded him to come see his kids. Off they went, the happy parents to spend some quality time with the family. This scene has been repeated several times. Naturally we were curious and wanted to see what our big boy had helped to produce. However, she was having none of that. She never did lead us to the litter. In fact, clearly she belongs to a family, but I haven’t been able to trace her to her home.

Now, when I take him for a walk his entourage consists of me, Summer, and our cat Murphy. The cat makes a game of it by running on up ahead and hiding in the tall grass, only to jump Summer, who is hardly much bigger than a large cat herself. Summer is so nervous that she falls for the joke every time.

Lovely! Just lovely!

Copyright © 2008 Eugene Carmichael