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Sunday, November 25, 2007

How Nice to Meet You!











Part One


We live in a funny world. In the large cities anything untoward can happen at any time. Men and women are terribly afraid of each other. We have to be alert to danger to the extent that we cannot afford to accept an act of simple friendship without trying to determine if there is more to it.

In my own island we are brought up to be friendly as a national product, since we are in the twin businesses of international insurance and tourism. We are expected to greet each other and all visitors with a hearty “ Good Day!” That completely catches the visitor off-guard, and their most common response is “Say What?” Then they go on instant terror alert and presume that you want to sell them something or steal their wallet or handbag. All that we want them to have is a nice Bermudaful day.

In a more genteel time, if you wanted to meet someone, about whom you were curious, you simply went up to them and held out your hand and said, “Hello, my name is (what my name is) and I wanted to meet you because of, whatever.

Well, we still insist on greeting in the street. But a disturbing number of locals rely on the Internet to search for a mate. What happened? All over the world the trend is the same. We have come to rely on the safe (?) compartment of the Internet, when in fact nothing could be farther from the truth. Oh sure, the initial contact is super convenient. You put up your profile and state what you are looking for in a potential mate and the responses come rolling in.

Then, you have to leave the security of your computer room and actually go out into the world and meet face to face with this stranger who you can almost be certain has misrepresented himself or herself. Start with your own profile. Could that do with a little editing to get a little closer to the truth?

Although there are millions of names listed on a never-ending assortment of websites representing all sorts of combinations looking for each other, I’m beginning to think that in reality it’s the same dozen men and women after all. I reach this conclusion based on the descriptions people give of themselves.

I browsed the “Buzon de Amigos” section of a Spanish daily newspaper and something very interesting immediately jumped out at me. The postings of women seeking men always start by stating that she is single, or divorced, separated or widow, and she describes something of herself, such as Happy, and Friendly, Fun, Sensitive, Loving, Simple, Romantic, Sincere, Intelligent, Cultured, Loyal, Honest, Body in good condition, Elegant, Thin, or a little over her ideal weight, Normal, Quiet, Sense of Humour, with or without vices, a little timid, and good looking.

They then go on to describe the things that matter to them, such as the Cinema; Dancing; the Theatre; the great Outdoors; Walking, Bicycling; Mountain Climbing; Camping; Swimming, the Beach; Gardening, Music, Art; Museums; Travelling; Painting, Going out, or Staying In to enjoy quiet times together; Reading; Cooking; Sports, Animals; Good Television.

They then list the crucial things that they are looking for in a man, or to be precise the things that would be unacceptable. They finish by saying that they are principally seeking friendship, but that hopefully that would lead to something more intimate and lasting.

Then I looked at the postings of men seeking women. Most men simply said that they were of a certain age and their occupation was that of businessman or engineer, or hard worker, and then they went on to describe the type of woman they were seeking. Many of the men said that they were looking for friendship. (Do we believe them?)

Fellas! Guys! Fellas! You just don’t get it! Are you disappointed not to get even one bite? This medium of attracting a possible partner has enough problems built-in to it already. You don’t have to make it even worse. The ladies are going way out on a limb to try and meet you in this manner, and so far you haven’t helped them one little bit.

You are a complete unknown. She doesn’t even have your picture at this point, and even if she had she shouldn’t necessarily believe it. You have to tell her something about yourself, but you will get only one chance for first impressions. This is not the time to lie. So why then do so many people do just that?

In part two of this thread let’s examine what it would be like if we told each other the brutal truth about ourselves when we first meet.



Copyright © 2007 Eugene Carmichael

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Is your Lovely Lady a Lunatic?












Is Your Lovely Lady a Lunatic?

Paul R. from Melbourne, Australia wants to know. He writes:

“ G’day mate! The thing about some Sheilas is that they are completely mad. You tell them that you love them more than words can say, and that you would do anything for them, and everyday, in every possible way that they can imagine they test you.

“ I have finally come to my senses and rid myself of the worst experience of my life by losing 60 kilos of pure evil. I was slow to realize that because the story of my relationship with my ex-girl friend started like they do in the movies. Our eyes locked across a crowded bar, and little by little we came together. Her name is Paula, so we thought that we were made for each other, Paul and Paula. She was blonde, (later I discovered that came from a bottle), blue-eyed (the effect of her contact lens), and she is superb in the chest department. Even they were breast implants, although I really didn’t care about that because they were fun to play with. On meeting her and sizing her up I realized I was actually drooling a little from the side of my mouth.

“She took her time with me and played me like a didgeridoo. I had to wait a whole month before she took me into her bed, but that was like having won the freaking lotto.

“Whenever she wanted something, or did something naughty, and let me tell you about some of those, she would always say “if you really loved me, blah, blah, blah.”

“I’m a working class guy in construction. Naturally, I work bloody hard for my money, so why was I giving this girl the finest that money could buy? She loved eating out and jewellery. Whenever I bought her a special piece that she liked she rewarded me with something extra in bed. It never occurred to me to ask myself where she learned her techniques. Sometimes I would buy her jewellery that she did not like. Then she would say she wanted to take it back to choose something else. Invariably that cost more money. During the three years with her I never saved a penny. What a bitch!

“After a short while I changed from my room to renting a full house so that we could live together. There were times when she said that she would be visiting her relatives and she would be gone for days. Australia, as you know is a big place, so if you have relatives scattered all over this involves many days travelling time. She insisted that she didn’t want a mobile phone, so once out of the house she would be out of contact. During those periods I would wait and worry and long for her return like the sick Koala that I was.

“On one such trip when she was visiting her Aunt Sue in Sydney, which is a trillion kilometres to the north, I could swear I saw her in another bloke’s car passing the jobsite I was on. It was probably just her twin, I told myself, but the thought of what my eyes were telling me did shake me up. I couldn’t call her because she said her aunt didn’t have a phone. Does anybody living in Sydney not have a phone?

“On one of our nights out she openly flirted with another guy. When I had a grumble about it she said I needn’t worry. I was the only man she could ever love, but she asked me if I had ever fantasized about watching her make love to another man. If I really loved her I would support her fantasy about she in bed with me and this other guy. She would rather not go behind my back, and for one couple to be only with the other partner for the rest of our lives was unrealistic.

“The amber fluid (beer) flowed well that night and before the night was over the three of us had a good old rump in bed. I was depressed for days after. However, it wasn’t long before she spotted someone else she wanted a threesome with but he had a girlfriend. That didn’t stop her, and before long she managed to get the four of us in bed. The other girl and I made a half-hearted effort but we were distracted by the ferocity of her energy in absolutely consuming the guy. She seemed to be performing for her audience.

“We talked about it the next day, but she would not let me complain by reminding me that I should have been busy in giving pleasure to his Barbie (girlfriend). If I loved her I would not deny her such harmless pleasures. After all, she was not cheating on me behind my back.

“She was a lousy homemaker, expecting me to do all the cleaning and cooking, things that she assumed I would be glad to do if I really loved her.

“ Finally, one day I woke up, and I really woke up to what this crazy woman was all about. I had to go through an exorcism-like experience to get rid of her, and now I wonder what was I thinking. She was absolutely amazed that I no longer loved her.

I have to give her credit for one thing: That is when we met I told her that I wanted her, and I wanted to get to know her better. She said, “ No you don’t! You don’t want me, you don’t want to get to know me!”

“ The moral of this story is that if a woman says those words to you when you meet her, remember that she knows herself better than you ever can, so do not hesitate, RUN!!!!

Does this sound like someone you know? I think I do. Got a story to share with us, contact me at eugene.spain@gmail.com

Copyright (c) 2007 Eugene Carmichael

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Who you calling a Bastard!







All babies are born equal! It is we, the adults that stick the labels on them. But in their innocence they are all equally charming and loveable.

So, why then, in this so-called age of enlightenment are we intelligent adults placing some into a category that we call “Illegitimate”. The dictionary describes such a state as being “not authorized by law”. A child not born within marriage is not lawfully born?

Firstly, what are laws but rules prescribed by men and women for the benefit of those in control of society at the time. History is replete with examples of laws that operated, that in the fullness of time were judged to be brutal, draconian, and an outrage to modern-day decency. Laws that made legitimate the practise of discrimination, oppression of minorities and women, and the ownership of slaves, are but a few of the more despicable lawful acts that have shown the depravity of men against their fellow human beings, when left unchecked.

There is apparently a country where the law states that no virgin may marry. All virgins must be officially de-flowered by men for whom this is their only job. The families must pay to have this done. It’s the law! Is it a just law that deserves the respect and civil obedience? Of course not!

Getting back to this odious law that makes an innocent baby guilty of a crime, who benefits? I can only think of one class of person to gain, and that is the man who has extra-marital affairs, or who fathers his children exclusively outside marriage. Through this law such offspring are disallowed from claiming a right to inherit along with those children within his marriage, if he is married. They are also forestalled from enjoying several other rights that otherwise they would be entitled to.

The shameful state of affairs that exists is that the law protects the guilty and condemns the innocent. The legal fraternity allow this to continue; apparently Law Reform Committees everywhere turn a blind eye to its effects, and actually support and enforce it.

As if to underscore the point that I am trying to make, there are men who quite deliberately father as many children as they can with as many dumb women as they can find. These men define their manhood by being able to brag about the number of children they have fathered. Of course, such idiots do not care for any of them.


Fortunately those born outside of wedlock need not find such circumstances an impediment to leading a normal life. Many such persons rise to positions of great prominence and power, including the power to make change. The question is asked, then why don’t they? It is difficult to understand why this antiquated law is not finally done away with. It needs to be thrown out with all the other embarrassing trash of the past. Its continued existence is an embarrassment to all decent minded citizens; it encourages irresponsible behaviour on the part of certain men, who know that the consequences of their actions are limited; and as for the individuals themselves who come to realise that they are not legitimate, they almost universally suffer an unnecessarily painful humiliation, imposed upon them by the law, and unwittingly, their parents.

Who makes laws? Parliament does. Who can repeal laws? Parliament can.

Perhaps this is more timely than might at first be thought. Laws that sent people to jail for their sexual orientation are now being reviewed and changed to the extent that the pendulum has completely swung to the other extreme. At least homosexuals and lesbians no longer need lead their lives “in the closet”, ashamed of whom they truly are. In the past they were persecuted and hounded just for being different.

In certain parts of the United States of America, history tells of a time when one man could lawfully have owned another as his property, as though the human was an animal. In certain parts of Africa today, it is still completely lawful to own slaves. There are laws that make female castration legal. Should such laws be changed without delay? Of course they should!

One place to begin would be to ascertain whether this is one man’s irrelevant rant, or whether there is significant support for repeal or radical amendment of the various legal Acts that give life to the branding of a person as one who has no legitimate right to exist. Presumably there is also the school of thought that holds that no change should be contemplated. I would appreciate hearing from both sides of the issue.

Please e-mail me at eugene.spain@gmail.com







Copyright © 2007 Eugene Carmichael

Sunday, November 4, 2007

The Diving Dollar






First came 9/11, and America had to respond to that. What the world saw was a measured and calculated reply to the supporters and the perpetrators of the attack on New York and Washington, and no one was either surprised or even that outraged, including Al Queda’s sympathisers. The dollar took a hit, but didn’t lose too much ground.

But then came Iraq, and the controversy surrounding all that, and the dollar was hit hard. The hits just keep coming and the dollar just keeps on falling, like a prizefighter with no one’s ear to bite on, it’s down on one knee and it seemingly just can’t get up.

Certainly, the cost of running two wars is taking its toll. Meanwhile, the euro keeps getting stronger, perhaps not quite as much as seems, but with the dollar falling like a rock the euro now stands supreme. One positive thing out of all this is that we haven’t heard a thing from the United States about its deficit for some time. That’s because I suspect that there is no deficit. Really, there should be a surplus, or would be if so much was not being spent on the wars. Goodness knows what would happen to the dollar if the Unites States is drawn into an armed conflict with Iran.

There is also another force acting upon the dollar to drag it down, and that is the currency speculators. That lot have been dumping the dollar to hold euros, and every time the dollar falls another notch, they rejoice.

Clearly, the dollar is headed for the psychological conversion rate of 1.50, meaning it will cost one dollar and fifty cents to buy one euro. That is making life in Europe miserable on the one hand, and a delight on the other. At even the current rate, America is on sale. Tourism to America is up. American exports are up, but Europe can’t sell much outside the zone, so what’s an European to do?

My guess is that there is a devaluation coming of the euro, and a significant one at that. If you’re holding euros and enjoying the ride, my guess is that you will wake up on a Monday morning to find that the euro has been devalued by thirty or forty percent. So when to sell and take your profit?

Sometimes, Greed may actually be good. At other times, greed can make one choke.

Which will it be in your case, Mr. Speculator?

Copyright © 2007 Eugene carmichael